By Elizabeth Webb
The road to my hometown is full of potholes, lined with fields of corn and soybeans, and paved with memories. The white water tower, grain bins at the elevator, and the school are visible a couple of miles outside town.
A green and white sign stating, “Population, 383” welcomes you into town with a main street lined with old brick buildings on either side, most of these buildings are empty now. There is one four-way sign with no stop light. Small town America.
Expectations of others.
Growing up, I lost count of how many times someone would tell me there was no way they could live in such a small town. I heard about how many opportunities I was missing out on by being enrolled in a small school. And whether it was real or perceived, there was the implication that I wouldn’t do great things with my life. Because of the opportunities I missed, there would be no great success, nothing to define me or set me apart. Watching shows such as The Gilmore Girls as a teen reinforced this in my mind. If I didn’t have the desire to go to a large university, obtain a degree, and have a high-profile career, I was somehow less than.
There’s an excellent possibility that I took those comments wrong, and they came from a place of unfamiliarity with a way of life that those not from a small town couldn’t comprehend. The slower pace of small-town living, the inaccessibility to everyday conveniences, and the fact that most small towns in the Midwest are pretty rundown in appearance. As a teenager trying to figure out her place in the world, it was easy to believe those people were right, and if I stayed in my small town and married my high school boyfriend, I was settling.
Finding my own measure.
My journey involved several years of growing in my faith to realize that every woman has her own matrix against which she measures her greatness. Society and social media have played a pivotal role in the markers on that scale, with career, housing, and finances being some of the biggest ones. Now, the world we live in tells us that anyone can be a woman, that there’s nothing special about being a woman, and that we are not set apart and called to be what men can’t. Embracing being the heart of the home, the organizers, the peacemakers, and the nurturers is a gift as a woman. I feel that this is even more pronounced in the lives of rural women, where life moves at a slower pace and roles tend to be more traditional.
Success on my own terms.
While some might find the role of a traditional farm wife confining, it allowed me to stop comparing myself and my life to the more glamorous ones portrayed on social media, television, and books. When I slowed down, I realized that cooking a good meal and delivering to my husband in the field, keeping a decently clean house (let’s face it, on a farm, it’s never completely clean), running my kids to practices, helping them grow in Christ has brought me the success I had been searching for. Accepting my role as a wife and mother didn’t undermine me as a woman but allowed me to fully embrace who God has called me to be. I want to help my rural sisters embrace where they are in life, embrace living outside of the cultural standards of our time and know that while being a farm wife and mom may not always be easy or pretty or clean, there’s perfection in walking the road you were created for, even if it leads to a small town.
MEET THE AUTHOR
Elizabeth Webb is a Registered Nurse turned high school English teacher who loves to encourage other women to embrace the path they’ve been called to. She enjoys spending time with her family, chasing her kids to sporting events, being outdoors, and anything creative. She lives on a farm in the Midwest with her husband, three children, and dogs.
